AlCapone

2012-02-05T02:14:00.000-08:00

If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies

So many directions, so many winds, currents and options.

Our lives are full of changes. Wanted ones and unwanted ones. They come and go, just as a song has its flow.

An end is always a new beginning. A change always brings new options. The question is when do we know, where to go? When will we realise when the time has come? How many signs do we need?

Being seduced by ones own curiosity and longing to experience something new...can be like a drug from which

one needs to let go.

But, what if the drug turns out to be the healing medicine one was always waiting for?

Sometimes we wake up and realize we cannot go on working our way though the pressures of every day work and life. Sometimes we break down and are in desperate need of rest, of breathing of finding out WHO we are and WHAT we want to do with our lives.

Dreaming our way through life and waking up in our dreams only to realize that we havent actually lived our happiness to the full extent..is a notion I do not intent to feel.

Sometimes we only realize what we had, when it is already gone. Sometimes we hold on to something, because we feel it is the right thing to do, not because we want to.

We fear and long for changes. Time is the current to drive the change. Changes ride on those waves...sometimes they break very early out in the sea and sometimes they are brought all the way to the shore.

Satisfaction is a strange and difficult notion to understand and control. We all have wishes, longings and urges that we need and want to satisfy.

If nothing every changed there'd be no butterflies!

2012-01-26T11:07:00.001-08:00

Narkose des Glücks

So leicht

So schön

So unverschämt vertraut

So vergänglich

Wenn ich könnte

Wenn ich wüsste

Wenn ich dürfte

Wenn ich nur wüsste

Ich weiß

Das ich nicht weiß

Ich weiß nicht

Das ich wissen werde

Festhalten will ich

Den Moment

Den Moment will ich

Umarmen, drücken, küssen

Wach-

Durch den Traum spazieren

Träumend-

Durch die Realität tanzen

Wenn ich könnte

Wenn ich wüsste

Wenn ich dürfte

Wenn ich nur wüsste

2011-04-25T11:29:00.001-07:00

Meine Sonne ist der Mond

Mein Kopf ist ein Ort des Chaos. Meine Gedanken laufen gegen den Strom, querfeldein, die Treppe diagonal. Sie hüpfen, tanzen, funkeln und weinen. Sie kommen und gehen, sie ziehen mit den Wolken und fallen vom Himmel wie harter Hagel. Sie verbrennen mein Ich, sie machen nur „Tick“, sie sind lautlos, unsichtbar und völlig Schrankenlos. Wo wollen sie nur hin? Wie kann ich sie steuern? Ich möchte sie hören, greifen und fühlen. Ich will das sie mich wieder teilhaben lassen an mir selbst. Ich möchte sie wieder in meinen Kopf weben und will sie wieder lachen hören.

2010-10-22T00:53:00.001-07:00

Nimmer ist immer nimmer. Immer ist nimmer immer. Und nimmer ist nimmer immer nimmer. Weil immer und nimmer immer nimmer sind und nimmer nimmer immer sein kann. Aber sie sind immer zusammen.

2010-09-29T15:19:00.000-07:00

Loslassen ist eine Kunst die nicht alle beherrschen. Manchmal kann, will und möchte man es nicht. Und man weiss nicht wieso und warum.
Dieses eine Lied kommt ganz nah dran...ganz nah an dieses Gefühl.

I-C-H-W-A-R-H-i-E-R (von Alin Coen)

Ich werde meine Hand tättowieren- ich lass los.
Ich will auch meinen Kopf formatieren- er wehrt sich bloß.
Und wenn ich glaub ich hab mich gefangen, dann kippt's auch schon, doch ich will nichts verlangen.
Es sieht zwar nicht nach Chancen aus, doch den Kurs den halt ich -volle Kraft vorraus.

Ich schreib auf deine Mauer- hier die Tür.
Und ich renne fest dagegen, damit ich irgendetwas spür.
Und je mehr ich deine Nähe such, desto weiter rückst du fort.
Und obwohl ich mich dafür verfluch werf ich die Hoffnung nicht ganz über Bord.

Die Lösung fehlt und ich überleg- ich muss ganz weit weg,
also mach ich mir den Plan und beweg mich nicht vom Fleck.
Und wenn ich glaub ich habs überwunden, wird gleich neuer Anlass erfunden.
Ich versuchs, schau her!
Schon wieder ein Versuch mehr.

Ich schreib auf deine Mauer, dies ist der Weg.
Und ich kratze an den Fugen, damit sich irgendetwas regt.
Und je länger ich auf der Stelle trete, desto mehr verlierts an Sinn.
Weil es nicht mal einen Schritt weiter geht, ich verliere mich bloß darin.

So sehr ich es bedauer, schaff ich's nicht bis zu dir.
Und ich schreib ich auf deine Mauer 'ich war hier' .
Und je weiter ich mich dann entfern', desto leichter fällt's, zu verstehen.
Ich weiß du magst mich auch sehr gern mit etwas Abstand.
Versehen.

2010-09-05T15:38:00.000-07:00

Gone Magic or the Escalation of Nothingness

People in perfect harmony
Celebrating the beauty of wilderness
Not expecting the arising agony
Just feeling the purity of happiness

A market – crazy, chaotic and colourful
A group – lonely, sad, and hateful
Lots of locals – proud, pure and poetic
Lots of police – fearful, feist and furious

While the sun is shining
The crowd is flying
While they eat, sell and buy
The others eat, and wait for them to cry

Music fills the air
Everywhere
Smiles light up the day
Even there

There where all the worries
Are forgotten
There where for a moment
The world stopps to rotten

But then – all of the sudden
The darkness swallows the light
A fire here, a loud BANG there
Agression is rising

People seemingly lost
People just wanting to celebreate
From here to there...
...to nowhere

A stone, a fall, a cry
Astonished people just screaming „why“?
They push, they run, they fear
Just save me my dear

Why am I still here?
Why do I fear
So close, so closed

Pushing, holding, screaming
Hurting, running, running...

2010-08-30T11:18:00.000-07:00

Clouds

Last night when i went to bed
I wrote this letter in my head
I was too spaced out for you to reach me
I used to teach you now you teach me
I never thought that you were gonna realise
What you had inside, so now i´m well suprised

They say my head is in the clouds
They say my head is in the clouds
Cloud nine to be precise

You see the world is turning on
And somethings are
Just the way they are they are

The world is turning on
And somethings are
just the way they, just the way they are

I take the best words that come to my mind
The nicest melody that i can find
I write the greatest song that i can write
To bring you back into my life

Back then god had sent me
to make you angry
to send you on your journey
Coz there were things you had to learn

They say my head is in the clouds
they say my head is in the clouds
Cloud nine to be precise

You see our world ain´t in this world
You see our world ain´t in this world
Cloud nine to be precise

The world is turning on
And somethings are
Just the way they are they are

The world is turning on
And somethings are
Just the way they just the way they are

I turn my back on this
It wouldn´t change a thing
It´s just the way it is
You couldn´t change a thing
It´s been from ever since
From before time begins
I surrender all there is
No joy like this again

You take all my songs
I wrote them for you
See i din´t know
I only thought i knew
You were invisible
Now you visible
Was too blind to see
Like the sun it dawns on me

The world is turning on
And somethings are
Just the way they are they are

The world is turning on
And somethings are
Just the way they just the way they are

(Clouds by Patrice)

2010-08-19T14:02:00.001-07:00

She loves you (not)

Weep for yourself, my man,
you'll never be what is in your heart
weep little lion man,
you're not as brave as you were at the start
rate yourself and rake yourself,
take all the courage you have left
wasted on fixing all the problems
that you`ve made in your own head

but it was not your fault but…
and it is your heart on the line
it is really fucked up all the time
isn`t it my dear?
isn`t it, my…

tremble for yourself, my man,
you know that you have seen this all before
tremble little lion man,
you'll never settle for any of your scores
your grace is wasted in your face,
your boldness stands alone among the wreck
learn from your sister or else spend your days biting your own neck

but it was not your fault but…
and it is your heart on the line
it is really fucked up all the time
isn`t it my dear?
Isn`t it, my…

but it was not your fault but…
and it is your heart on the line
it is really fucked up all the time
isn`t it my dear?
Isn`t it, my dear?

but it was not your fault but…
and it is your heart on the line
it is really fucked up all the time
isn`t it my dear?
Isn`t it, my…

but it is not your fault but mine
and it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time
didn't I, my dear?
didn't I, my dear?

(a little changed version of : Mumford and Sons - Little Lion Man)

2010-07-05T08:15:00.000-07:00

Walk the Line

Trying to walk the line
Trying to keep it fine
Trying to understand
Trying to master my hand.

Far away FRIENDS
Distant LANDS
Thinking one THING
Thinking the wrong THING.

Trying to walk the line
Trying to keep it fine
Trying to understand
Trying to master my hand.

Disappointed in me
Disapointed in thee
Sad because it is true
Sad because it is you.

Friends should be friends
A friendship ends
A YES and a NO
What way shall I go?

Trying to walk the line
Trying to keep it fine
Trying to understand
Trying to master my hand.

Friends should be friends
A friendship ends
A YES and a NO
What way will you go?

Another Land
Another hand
Another mind
Another kind.

Him and her
Love to stirr
Life isn't a drink
Whatever you think.

Needing you here
But you chose to be there
Staying away like no friend
I guess our friendship will end.

Trying to walk the line
Trying to keep it fine
Trying to understand
Trying to master my hand.

Selfishly you chose to be
I wish you the best
Honestly my 'lil rollercoaster bee
Go on with your QUEST.

2010-02-07T08:31:00.000-08:00

Hilflos

Ausser Atem stehe ich da
Alles ist so unglaublich unklar
Ein Herz, ein Körper, ein Wille
Gefangen in unheimlicher Stille

Auf einmal braucht sie Mich
Gegen das grelle Licht
Gegen die Sterilität
Gegen die Schmerzen
Gegen das Unbekannte
Gegen sie und fuer Sie

Er ist bei ihr doch eingefroren
In der Angst sie zu verlieren
Ist er verloren

2010-02-02T09:04:00.000-08:00

Another place

Sometimes a road trip through the snow,
Rescuing some northern wings,
Carries you to another place.

Sometimes snowflakes fly so strong
One cannot see the street that
lies ahaed

Sometimes snowflakes turn to rain
Sometimes they carry you all the way
to the coast

Sometimes you realize that you CANT
choose your blood
But that you CAN choose
your friends

Sometimes you feel so lost, so lonely
Sometimes there is a shoulder that
protects you

Sometimes you cant forget
But sometimes you need to forgive
in order to move on

Sometimes you need to let go
Sometimes you wonder why
Sometimes you wonder what if
Sometimes you realize

...that what will be will be

Thank you northern wind!

2010-01-09T04:25:00.000-08:00

Gone Magic

Magical moments they come and go. Just as a song has its flow. A rhythm one sings a long a certain time over and over. All of the sudden the rythm keeps repeating itself too many times.
Gone magic.

Magical moments they come and go. First a scent, then a sensation, one turns around. The smell keeps hunting us- until someone passes us on the street- it returns. And then it is gone again.
Gone magic.

Magical moments they come and go. A smile, a look, a voice. Giving and getting. Mis-understanding the moment.
Gone magic

2009-12-31T02:33:00.000-08:00

A Happy New Year! Feliz Ano Novo! Einen Guten Rutsch!

One of my best friends taught me the beauty of “toasts”, he taught me that sometimes we should remember the people that have enlightened us, that have had an impact on our path we call life. Sometimes it is important to cherish those who have made us- BE OURSELVES.
I will take up this tradition and will try to praise those who have changed my life in one way or another in 2009!

Kainho-for making me smile, laugh and dance! For keeping me warm at night, for your patience and crazyness, for giving me goosepumps and holding my hand in difficult times, for being the way you are! I love you!
Mota- thank you for giving me this tradition. For being my far-away-friend.always at my (invisible) side, for caring about the ones I love, for smiling at the always changing sky, for sparkling down in Europes south!
Mama- merci pour tout! for your strong heart, for fighting the weakness of stress, for your love and care and for waking up!!! I love you!
Papa- danke das Du bist wie Du bist! for your love and devotion, for always having an answer to my milion questions, for checking the äther and for holding tide on our family bond!
Gregor- for the support you’ve given me trying a task. For your love and care. For your lovely family, for my niece -Billie Grace- and my sister in law Anita! 3 Beautiful people!
Opipi- for not giving up the fight! For being alive and for reuniting a long-seperated family!
Sunny- for your magic! For being my best friend, my sista, my angel!
Doro- you are making me sooo proud my best friend! MY doctor, my humanitarian! Thank you for being the way you are!
Tiny- for always sharing your beautyful self. For your creativity and smiles!
Tea- for showing how strenght and „Zerbrechlichkeit“ sich die Wage halten, how important it is to share feelings and to love!
Herbert- for being family, for being the best guardian for our Pintinha, for being Kainhos good Angel!
Xana- for being my oriental angel, my crazy Sally, my Wedding Creative, my portuguese sis
Paul P. – for giving me many unforgetable mornings full of joy at work! For your support.
Tim- for becoming a „partner in crime“, for suprising me the way I have never been surprised
Alex- for making the sun shine eventhough the sky is covered in clouds
Franksen- for giving me a reflection of myself I have never received before, for the crazy times at work
Arne- for keeping it serious eventhough your ears are full of crazy laughter
Claude- for your constance and for making my life easier
Momenis- for being the best host-parents for our Pintinha we could ever imagine
Joaninha- for making my best friend smile all the time, for being the loveliest person I have met in the last year!
Nino- for wining a game of billiard and with that stroke taking all my worries away!

Thank you to Everyone who has put a smile on my face, made me laugh, think, turn around, realize, react and love this year!

Love & Peace

2009-12-29T03:58:00.001-08:00

Between Dreams

Suddenly
It tickles
Suddenly
A long lost urge

The reappearance
Of moments
The reappearance
Of times

Magical
Vagabonds
Magical
Wherabouts

Who? Where? Why?
ME? THERE? – SHY
Discovering the Sky
Walking head up – HIGH

Dreaming dreams
Dreams that stay safe
Dreams better dreamt
Dreams that will never end

Filling the gaps
Must not be mapped
Loving the life
That´s been chosen

Smiling at the day
Because dreams
Are like May(-bes)

2009-11-20T04:00:00.000-08:00

HEAT

A tropical beach
Palm Trees
The carribean ocean
Colours & Cuba Libres

What a dream!

An empty beach
An ocean that screams
Two people ready to dive
What a wonderful vibe

In the ocean they run
Eagerly awaiting the dive- yet numb
The water covers
Whatever worries bothered

Diving and swimming
Singing and laughing

Back on the shore
Back to the beach
Back to the sand

Juices, Cocktails, Colours
Mangos, Coconuts, Maracujás

What a dream!

Soon there – so far
Can`t wait
How – wonderbar!

2009-11-13T15:54:00.000-08:00

Masses travel to the stadium
It slowly fills up

Noises
The Teams enter
A Whistle blows
22 players run after a ball
They kick
They run
They head
They hold
They struggle
They PLAY
a
GAME

Goal!
Goal!! Goal!!
Goal!!! Goal!!! Goal!!!
Goal!! Goal!!

The masses are in Rage

They kick
They run
They head
They hold
They struggle
They PLAY
a
GAME

1-2-3-4-5....90 minutes

2:2 A Tide

Game OVER....

The field is empty,,the spotlights switsched of and the fans are gone...
A silence embraces the stadium...a breath of a far away wind..smoothes its way through the stadium...it slowly crawls up the high posts..the thousand seats..the green is covered in a thick fogg...the foreign wind blows a melody..and if you listen closeley you can here a refrain whispering......"It is just a Game,......just a Game....just a G-A-M-E..."

2009-11-13T09:45:00.001-08:00

"Yes, I am a Free Lover. I have an inalienable, constitutional and natural right to love whom I may, to love as long or as short a period as I can; to change that love every day if I please, and with that right neither you nor any law you can frame have any right to interfere. And I have the further right to demand a free and unrestricted exercise of that right, and it is your duty not only to accord it, but, as a community, to see that I am protected in it. I trust that I am fully understood, for I mean just that, and nothing less!"
from "the high priestess of free love" Victoria Woodhull (1871)

2009-07-21T02:40:00.001-07:00

Augenblicke der Erkenntnis

Vor Überraschung erwacht
Dem Glück entgegen gelacht
Ein Strand, ein Fall, ein Ring
So ein unglaubliches Ding.

In einem Land
So fern, so nah
Ist alles so wunderbar

Zurück daheim
Holt die Realität uns ein

Wie hart der Alltag
Den Tag zur Nacht macht

Ich seh’ ihn nicht
Er sieht mich nicht
Licht aus, Licht an

Arbeit im Blut
Tut wenig gut
Denn das Müssen
Geht nur ohne Küssen

I hope
This does
Not
Go on
Too long

As palavras mais
Proximas
Do que
O Proximo

Um fim – disso ?
Muito longe.

2009-05-16T01:52:00.000-07:00

Denke nie gedacht zu haben, denn das Denken der Gedanken ist gedankenloses Denken.
Denke nie Du denkst, denn wenn Du denkst Du denkst, dann denkst Du nur Du denkst-
Denken aber tust Du nie

2009-05-16T01:46:00.000-07:00

Dem Himmel so nah

2008-12-07T04:06:00.000-08:00

Lost & Found

We had her and then she was gone.
We loved her eventhough her ears were numb.
We screamed at her – though she could not hear.

Born with no hearing, too sweet to be true.
Surviving the cold, the little ears froze.
Only survivor, the siblings were dead.

Yet, full of joy fighting the dissability.
Filling the room with innocence.
Too sweet to be true.

Finding a family.
Finding a home.
Until they discovered

The silence of her ears.
She had learned to react.
With her sight & her sense.

A dicision had to be made.
Thinking of the little No-Hear.
Her life in the city too much to fear.

We had to bring her back.
Thinking of Little No-Hear.

We had lost our little Love.
We had found out the truth.

Little No-Hear needs a family.
One needs no word to care.

A home with no dangerous sounds.
A silent home that shelters her.

Lonely and empty has this house become.
Since little No-Hear has left.

A part of my heart is now quiet.
Wishing & hoping that little
No-Hear will find the love that she deserves.

We have lost a life.
That was not meant to be ours.
We have found ourselves.

We had her and then she was gone.

2008-09-04T14:30:00.000-07:00

Augenblicke

Ein Tag so wunderschön und unvergessbar. Eine Fahrt ins Auenland, eine Fussballfete in Zagreb, einen Sonnenuntergang in Paris, ein paar Mondscheine in Braga und noch viel mehr Märchen in Lissabon. Die schönsten Reisen südlich des Nordpols. Augenblicke der Ewigkeit.

2008-07-15T04:13:00.000-07:00

Why cant I try not to wonder why?
Why cant I be the beeing I wanna be?
Why cant I fly as high as the sky?
Why cant I lie?

Because my mind never stops minding
Because I am what I am- eventhough
Because the sky is too high
Because I do not accept a lie

The reasons I find are empty
The quarrels I enforce are useless
The fights I challenge I love
The fantasy I have I fear

Emptyness is an ocean without life
Uselessness is a painful death
Love an aspiration for everyone
Fear a common feature in all

Yet- without love one feels empty
Fear could and should be useless- for ALL

Why cant I try to trust?
Why do I feel a must?
Why cant he love me?
Why do I need to feel free?

2008-05-11T07:30:00.000-07:00

Vom Überglück und den Risiken und Nebenwirkungen

Was tut man, wenn einem das Glück was man erfährt ängstlich macht? Wenn man vor Glück abhebt und Angst hat sich an der Sonne zu verbrennen, der man mit unglaublicher Geschwindigkeit entgegen fliegt?!

Geboren: als Kind des Glücks
Gelebt: Zwischen Abenteuern und Ungeheuern
Gegangen: Immer auf dem Pfad des Glücks
Getreaumt: Vom Glück, Unglück , vieler Realitäten und Traumitäten
Gefangen: Im Rausch des Glücks
Gehangen: Am Rande des Glücks
Geflogen: Vom Unglück zum Glück
Gestorben: 1007 Mal, doch immer wieder hat mich das Glück festgehalten....

2008-03-07T04:10:00.000-08:00

Já não tenho medo de ti
Já não me apetece de fugir
Já não penso muito nas
consequencias

Mas sim

..apetece-me viver
o momento contigo
Apetece-me fugir contigo
Apetece-me ultrapassar o habito
de fugir dos bons momentos
Apetece-me viver
sem medo
sem vicio de fugir
e
sem consequencias

contigo

2008-03-03T07:32:00.001-08:00

THE COMFORT OF HARMONY

It is like it is. Ghosts of the past present wherever I am. I like ghosts, they are my friends- yet, I could not live below them.
A healthy balance of happy memories and open and closed books is inevitable if one wants to move on.
Why should one live amongst shadows that still have a voice? Why should one want such extent of harmony- yet does not see the dis-harmony being created?

Friends- we all want to have them. Friends- are everywhere- everyone can be your,my,our friend. But true friends are those who call for no reason, are those who care, who are there whenever you need them, who sing along with you- even if they can’t sing, who bake a cake-even if they have never baked, who paint a picture even though they have 2 left hands, who would after you’ve lost a bet run naked across the town square out of solidarity to you, who would lose a board game – because they know you like to win, who would walk a thousand miles just to tell you they like you, who would buy you an island if they could, who would dare an elephant on aspirin with you, who would paddle around the world with you, who would share the last zip of milk in the desert with you, who would carry you on their back-if you were to lazy to walk, who would eat a banana-nutella-gummibear-broccoli-chicken-pizza with you-just because you made it- and who would always tell you the truth!

Ghosts on the other hand can be alive & / or dead. If they are alive they have once meant something to you, done something to you or crossed your path in one-way or the other. If they are living-ghosts they have some kind of unfinished business with you- or you with them.
The dead ones are those (alive) ghosts who have not managed to settle their business while they were alive.

Perfect harmony is a beautiful illusion.

And illusion is : “An erroneous perception of reality.”

2008-03-03T06:34:00.000-08:00

2008-02-07T09:55:00.000-08:00

My Imagination will make that moment live...

2008-02-07T08:25:00.001-08:00

Lisboa, 12 de Janeiro 2008

Being back after 3 month of absence and excitement has left its thorns, the sun is still shining in the same light, with the same force, the clouds are still absent, the river still indulges us with its nostalgic melodies, the time still stands still here in the far west.

The sounds can be heard, you can hear your own breath, you can hear your footsteps, you can here the tic-tac of your watch, you can sit down and think, your eyes can see beauty 24 hours a day, you can wander back in time, you can stare at the ocean as long as you want, you can let the sand rinse through your fingers, you can travel from beach to beach, from coast to coast from adventure to adventure- yet in the end- you’ll find yourself exactly at the same corner of your house, at the same street, you’ll find that no one wants to see the million pages you’ve written, no one really wants to listen to your thousand adventures you’ve lived. No one is really trying to change things, time stands still- basta.
The future is part of the other countries, the rapid development as well.
New ideas? There are many.
Amazing thinkers? A thousand.
Creativity? Is the city’s’ breath.

As much as I love this city, as much as I love my friends here as much as I love the sunshine…I think it is time to return home for a while and evolve and gain roots or to continue and explore and maybe go to Madrid, Barcelona or finally Paris.

There is one thing that I really learned to appreciate. The ease of getting a job I like and love, the ease of fascinating people- the gift of mine to amaze to get things going- I believe there was a reason why I am always there when things begin. Why I am always there when it is time to create something, to believe and to concentrate my energy and that of the people around me in order to give birth to something big.
No matter the challenge- I take it.

But, what now?
Now I have found somebody who loves the same things as I do: he loves to write, his curiosity drives him to find answers, he loves the outdoors, he loves Hamburg, he loves games, he loves Lisboa, he loves to travel, he loves Portugal. He somehow came to love me- and I believe he has taken my heart for a reason- even though he says that he’d be at my site no matter what. He won’t let me go- I am free to do whatever I want and he supports me.

Is this the right time though? Who knows?

I have finished a big phase of my life- no more studying…yet I have left so much behind…my friends and my life in London…my life in Lisboa and now am on the urge to return to my roots and for once,- maybe start a life back home. Why not?

I never thought I would. But, what if it was possible to have everything? Not to give up my home in Lisboa and maybe to spent 3 month out of 12 here in the city I love and the rest in Hamburg-Paris-London!? If I’d work hard enough- if My-Mojo was successful- maybe all of this is possible...

2008-01-16T07:57:00.000-08:00

Lisboa- Where you drink Café

2008-01-16T07:49:00.000-08:00

Lisboa- where time stands still

2007-12-31T01:58:00.000-08:00

A Happy New Year! Feliz Ano Novo! Einen Guten Rutsch!
2008

One of the best friends taught me the beauty of “toasts”, he taught me that sometimes we should remember the people that have enlightened us, that have had an impact on our path we call life. Sometimes it is important to cherish those who have made us- BE OURSELVES.
I will take up this tradition and will try to praise those who have changed my life in one way or another in the last year.

Mulli- for she has been the most adorable Mama there is! For she loves to dance on the beach and for always believing in her crazy daughter.
Zipi- for being a role model for me all my life. For he always has an answer. For his love & dedication to his family and for being the best Papa in the world. Even though you never say a lot- Paps- I know what you think& feel! Thank you!
Xana- My rollercoaster girl! Don’t know how I would have survived London and all the emotional up’s & down’s withoug you! Obrigada pela locura! I’ve lost a colleague and gained one of the best friends/sista’s/family there is! I’ll never forget all those twillight nights we spent intoxicated with fireballs, dancing on Piccadilly Circus, nights in Clapham-endless phone chats....this list would never stop! Beijinhos LINDA! Sempre serás a minha maluca!
Belo - My loveley auntie- whos has taught me that love can be stronger than everything and anything, for she has proven to be an adventuress herself and for her beautiful personality that has started to shine again! Finally for being my 2nd Mama! DANKE!
Mota- O meu príncipe de sonhos! I’ve witness a unique birth of a friendship, I’ve won someone who shares the same passion for all the things I love, for you’ve been there when I was happy & sad- for you have taken my hand and saved me from drowning and freed me from a numness that imprisoned my being. May you soon hold the Oscar in your hands and may all your 10ns become true! A tua vagabunda de sempre!
Sunny- My northern star, my fellow Andromedanista, my sista, my Sun, my everything! You are crazier, more beautiful than ever! May you become princess of our Hexenplanet, may you climb the highest political mountains, may you dive in the deepest seas and may you cross the hotest desserts (well- that I’m sure you’ve done in Dubai now ;-) ).
Doro- My Pride, My Joy, My Conscious, My Equator, My best friend, ich gehe mit dir durch dick und duenn, I’d always protect you from any sharks there might be in the deep sea, I’d always be your first patient, I am always proud of you, I’ve always believed in you: My Dr. Pape! I would give you my knee if I could!
Gregor- My brother: thanks for being the way you are! I love you a lot- and want you to know I’ve always done so- even though sometimes it was hard for you to see that- because I’ve been so far away! And thanks to Mrs. Reisch for making you a better human being! ;-)
Kai Schiller- Love can appear in the strangest moments and to the strangest people...I’ve known you for many years now and then suddenly you’ve conquered my heart. I’ve heard a melody I’ve long thought I had forgotten- thanks for not letting me run away and obrigada for the patience you’ve shown me and for fearlessly taking on a whole city ;-)
Xico- Obrigada! Thanks for all the beautiful years! From Lisboa to London to Hamburg, I will never forget the time we have had! You’ve given me back the trust I had lost, you’ve loved me the way I am, we’ve had our adventure- thank you! May your future be blessed with happiness and all the luck in the world! You will always have a place in my heart!
Tio & Tia Xico- for being the most adorable uncles I’ve ever had. For welcoming me to their family as their daughter, for being so pure and so honest! For making me smile!
Tiny- For being the purest friend I have! For being as beautiful as the bay of Brisbane as sweet as a sugar cone and as free a fairy tale!
Sue- So far away and yet so close! You are always going to be a Sagres Chica and a Sênior T.! There ain’t no escape!
Fidelinho- for being the sweetest little kitty in the world. For rescuing me and for never letting me freeze!
Luís- For being the way you are. You are always on my mind.
Jacques- My Strabucks hero! May our friendship survive all the distances in the world! May you always know that you’ve made a vagabond friend- that will always be therre for you when you need her! May we never forget all the great moments we’ve had in London!
Christian- For being the best Doctor/Flatmate/Friend Greenwich has ever seen! For the trust & friendship you’ve shown me!
Diogo- For making my summer unforgetable. For keeping up the beat- o meu drumbista! I’ll never forget the view of the Ponte 25 de Abril!
Helen- For always having the best dreams! For the power of sight! For being an angel!
Lima & Xicão- Obriada! To all the SW to come, to the milion Minis and to never ending friendships! E também obigada a ANA- for inviting us to the best SW- Almograve ever!
Emilio- For being my Portuguese brother! Thank you for all the years- for being my Soul Mate- “I know what you did last summer! Meine Beutelmaus hat verstopfungen!”-
Lúcia- For always speaking out loud the bloddy truth! For being one of the truest friends there are!
Daniel S.- My homeboy! For being one of the friendliest people I know!
CC- For reappearing from the shadow, thanks for all the help moving houses! Hope you are well wherever you are!
André & Fátima- Thanks for showing the world what true love is like! May all your dreams, plans come true!
Arne- For being more than a brother to me! For sharing the same dreams and for understanding the uniqueness and the power of minds!
Alexis- Thanks for all the suppport! May our book gain the success it deserves! For a never ending creative friendship!
Uli- Thanks for bringing me back to Germany! Thanks for trusting me with a project this big and thanks for being my strongest believer and supporter!
Oli- For being at my side-MyMojo Captain-my inspiration-my right Hand!
Ana Rita- For being so honest and for caringly sharing my house, my family and my life for the summer!
Celso&Nai- For welcoming me to their home! For all the dinners & conversations!

Timo-Timur-Berkay aka Youngmenstreet 66
- For being the coolest neighbours I have ever had! For being the best mates, the craziest chillas, for welcoming me to their kingdom on the 4th floor, for accepting a girl to the soccer games, for having become part of my big adventure and for showing me more than the Westring! A minha casa a vossa casa! My house is your house! For ever!

Hanna Reisch

2007-12-25T17:19:00.000-08:00

I wish I could...

I wish I could see clearly,
I wish I could,
If I could
I would

The king has captured
My heart
He has left his queen
Has faced the facts

The servant has given
Him her hand
Has reached out
And has stood still

For the first
Time
The voice
Returned

For the first
Time
A tune
Played

I wish I could see clearly,
I wish I could
If I could
I would

A beleza da ilusão escondida!

How can one compete with a whole city?

A million of decisions to make, a million of feelings to discover, a million of dreams to be dreamt. Then, there is you- o meu principe dos sonhos- you’ve enlightened my soul, have strengthened my belief and supported the beauty of creativity and craziness. I wished I knew who you are- I wished I knew where you are-I wished I knew what you want-

I wish I could see clearly,
I wish I could
If I could
I would

2007-12-01T03:38:00.000-08:00

A Beleza da Ilusão escondida

2007-11-29T10:37:00.000-08:00

Forbidden Fruit!

Suddenly I dived into a pool of feelings- so deep I couldn't hear my heart beat.
Silence, only the chaos of my own feelings was visible clear to my heart- just like the silence of the deep sea. A chaos I love, a chaos I am used to- yet now there is you!
My forbidden apple, a drama about to start, the actors are getting ready to dive into their roles, to play their parts.
But you, know as well as I, that this time we don't have to play a part, we won't have to pretend, for that stage has become scaringly our own truth, for that stage is our escape, for once we won't have to act.
Victims of our own circumstances, pawns in this great game of chess...you seem to have found your queen, and I am her loyal servant, but for once the servant is not bound- and the king had so long wished to see his servant free- bad timing you'd think, though I think not. Too far have I travelled, too far escaped- as in my own drowning I finally realized what I want, I finally brought some kind of order in that chaos of feelings- yet - time and circumstances won't let me act.
You know as well as I- that time flies by- hunted by your utter feeling of trying to set me free- to let me be- the wild thing I am- you are conquered by your own fear to finally have what you want.
What can I do? I am only a servant. Obedient to the law of circumstances and rule- you have found your queen and I admire her- she is as beautyfull as the bay of biscay, as stunning as the sun set in the Sahara and as dry and loyal as the dunes of the Mongolian fields.
What shall we do?- you ask.
"I do not know."- my heart
for I am only holding on to that silence of the pool- to be ready to be a witness to the reappearance of a sound...
your obedient servant!

2007-11-19T16:14:00.000-08:00

Pohlmann - "Wenn Jetzt Sommer Wär"
Album: "Zwischen Heimweh Und Fernsucht" (2006)

Wenn jetzt Sommer wär,
wär ich hinter her
Mir nen Shirt anzuziehen und dann ab ans Meer
Und der Winter hier läge hinter mir
Ich hätt nen Eis auf der Zunge
und würd nicht mehr frieren

Und wenn bei dir jetzt gerade Sommer ist
Und du zu Hause sitzt und nicht raus gehst
Weil du mal wieder vorm TV klebst
Dann denke daran wenn der Tag dich verliert
Dass sich das Wetter ändern wird

Wenn jetzt Sommer wär...

Wenn jetzt Sommer wär
in meiner Heimatstadt
Dann würd ich raus auf’m Hof
und dann ab aufs Rad
In die Batze fahren
und vom Dreier springen
Und nachts auf der Strasse
Jack Johnson singen

Und wenn bei dir jetzt gerade Sommer ist
Und du zu Hause sitzt und nicht raus gehst
Weil du mal wieder vorm TV klebst
Dann denke daran wenn der Tag dich verliert
Dass sich das Wetter ändern wird

Wenn jetzt Sommer wär...

Und weil bei mir jetzt gerade Winter ist
Und ich den Sommer so vermiss
Send ich Grüsse aus dem Winter
An all die Sommerkinder

Wenn jetzt Sommer wär…

Dann würd ich ab ans Meer

2007-11-18T14:23:00.000-08:00

Eine Wueste aus Beton

A song escapes her lips through night and day. A whispered melody of truth- lifts the masks of sand torn eyes!
To take away the pain- the wished for feelings of something.
A whispered melody heared by someone who saw what was invisible to her eyes.
The dessert of stone- ein kleines bisschen Wahrheit.

2007-11-02T14:49:00.001-07:00

Ar da felicidade

Um som familiar que me deu confiança - um
Ar de consciência - um ar de loucura- de tranqüilidade
Um som familiar que me faz sorrir.
O teu ar de re-encontro.

Há tanta coisa que vejo em ti- sempre és o meu
Anjo de consciência
Haviam tantas coisas por quais já passamos juntos
E já te conheço há anos mas por qualquer razão este
Verão passamos uma fase de reencontro juntos!
Aqueles momentos, aquelas historias nunca vou me esquecer-
E...sim um dia vais contar as nossas aventuras aos meus netos!

Palavras que me deixam sonhar-palavras que me deixam perceber o que nunca fez e agora preciso de fazer...de me concentrar em mim e viver por mim!
E vou..agora já passou a minha paciência com outras coisas- abri as janelas e agora também vou abrir os olhos e ver- o que aparece!

2007-11-02T04:38:00.000-07:00

"Já me passou-mas tu metes-te em cada uma que parecem duas!"

- respira e inspira-ouve so o coraçao-nao penses-fica com o primeiro que te arrancar um sorriso bem de dentro da tua alma-

2007-10-30T14:05:00.000-07:00

Lips don't lie

Sweet summerly taste-a blue sky and a scent of cinnamon.
When I tasted this morning, I realized the sun's smile filled me with energy I was longing for for a long time.
Energy that was frozen by the re-disovery of the northern cold, by the re-dicovery of a past, by the re-discovery of beautiful friendships, by the re-discovery of "A happy day!".
"Oh my happy day...how have I missed you!"
"I had washed my sense away-by a numness I had brought about myself"

The smell of fresh café-the sweet summerly taste of a morning filled with sun-
a drop of the juice the night before had refreshed my memory of Spanish Nights.
Lips don't lie!
Light headed-up for a new challenge -liking the open windows and curious to find out how far I can open them-and what I will feel. Lips dont lie!
They like a new taste, they like the slow discovery of something new, the hessistant drying of a drop of juice, the way they go on a journey to undiscovered shores. Yet, this time the unlikely event of a fall on the head-won't permit a memory loss- thus my lips won't forget the spanish taste anytime soon.
Surprise me sweet summerly taste! I love surprises.

2007-10-27T12:08:00.000-07:00

..it is time to face the truth..

Some people claim when you get enough fame you live over the rainbow!
Sometimes we forget what we've got- who we are and who we are not-.
He's in love with a girl who is in love with the world- though he can't help but follow- though he knows some day she is bound to go away & stay over the rainbow...he's got to learn how to let her go- over the rainbow!
Sometimes we forget who we've got - who they are and who they are not.
There is so much more in love than black and white-
- sang a wise man,once, almost exactly like this!

Winter is comming , it is getting chilly. The colours are getting greyer & the seagulls have comenced their flight south. What a flight- take me with you! The days are getting shorter, the hot teas more comon, the cold noses a usual hazard.
Be aware southern waves- a storm is coming!

2007-10-20T05:14:00.000-07:00

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate,
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, talented, fabulous?"
Actually who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that others won't feel insecure around you.
We were all meant to shine like children do.
To make manifest the glory of God that is within us all.
Its not just in some of us; its in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
We unconcsiously give permission for others to do the same,
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others"

by Maryanne Williamson and used by Nelson Mandela in his 1994 inaugural speech

2007-10-18T04:34:00.000-07:00

You and I in a little toy shop
Buy a bag of balloons with the money we've got
Set them free at the break of dawn
Til one by one, they were gone
Back at base bugs in the software
Flash the message, something's out there
Floating in the summer sky
99 red balloons go by

99 red balloons
Floating in the summer sky
Panic bells it's red alert
There's something here from somewhere else
The war machine springs to life
Opens up one eager eye
Focusing it on the sky as 99 red balloons go by

99 Decision street
99 ministers meet
To worry, worry, super flurry
Call the troops out in a hurry
This is what we've waited for
This is it boys, this is war
The president is on the line
As 99 red balloons go by

99 knights of the air
Ride super high tech jet fighters
Everyone's a super hero
Everyone's a Captain Kirk
With orders to identify
To clarify, and classify
Scramble in the summer sky
99 red balloons go by

99 dreams I have had
In every one a red balloon
It's all over and I'm standing pretty
In this dust that was a city
If I could find a souvenir
Just to prove the world was here
And here is a red balloon
I think of you, and let it go

NENA

2007-10-16T02:22:00.000-07:00

Allesundnoch viel mehr...

Ich schreibe des schreibens wegen
Ich lese des lesens wegen
Ich gehe des gehens wegen
Ich atme des atmens wegen
Ich liebe der Liebe wegens

ich schreibe, lese, gehe, atme und Liebe des Allesund noch viel mehr wegens....

2007-10-13T09:15:00.000-07:00

Life is a Big Rollercoaster Ride

Life is a big Rollercoaster of never ending telenovelas. Sad things turn into happy memories, good things turn into sad memories. A Parradox?
No, if we stop analysing every little step we have taken along our life, we call path- caminho da vida, we might just realize that it is up to us, to change things, to turn the happy moments into never ending memories of joy!
Sad memories turn into good things- by a closer look. We constantly learn, we are eager and our curiosity is never satisfied with a simple answer. Simplicity is beauty. Beauty is realizing that every moment lives for us. We make moments!

A Spanish dinner amongst the best friends turned into music- which melody I will never forget and which rythm I shall praise for it beats my joy!
My joy, is my ryhtm, my ryhtm is my life's beat.
Acontece o que acontecer, what ever happens I shall hold on to those moments for as long as I live. Those images of smiles, of singing and dancing- of Joy!

A good friend once told me we should set ourselves rules, own rules in order to continue a path of joy and happiness. I agreed- now I look back and realize that life with no rules is much more tempting, much more colorfull and much more unpredictable. I love this friend very much- but he and my other friends will have to accept the ways I have chosen to continue my life.
Somebody out there surely understands where I'm coming from- for he understood me before he knew me- for he knows who and what I am- for he loves and doesn't love me the way I love and don't love him- for he beats that rhytm I call Joy within himself..

I will write an Ode for my friends! I will cherrish their beauty and make more memorable moments!

A friend.

2007-10-10T15:02:00.000-07:00

Like a Dream

Are you awake?

It is like a dream you dreamt once
Like a dream you had night and day
Like a dream that followed you
Wherever you go- whatever you dreamt

Like a star is the dream for you
Unatainable, but bright and real

One day it happens
Like a dream your dream
Flickers itself to reality
And after you dreamt the new created reality
- it is like a dream

Did you just live your dream?
You are not sure.
It ‘s almost like a déja vu.

The next day people remind you
That what seemed like a dream
Wasn’t a dream.

For you it’s still like a dream
Now it ‘s like a dream that
Probably came true, but you
Are still not sure,
‘cause it’s like a dream!

Your dream,

2007-10-10T12:28:00.000-07:00

Up North...

Where tears turn to snow
Where the Cold calms cranky faces
Where we stand for hours in a row
Where we leave a milion traces

Up North we freeze
Outside
Up North we breathe
Inside

There where I am
There where I have to be
There where I don't feel free
There where I should stay
.......because I can......

As if travelling back in
time
As if eliminating the doubts
in my head
As if letting myself getting burnt
Just to feel the pain
Just to feel alive
Just to feel.

Up North.

Where tears turn to snow
Where the Cold calms cranky faces
Where we stand for hours in a row
Where we leave a milion traces

Up North-
once my home
Up North-
has gone

A lonely star
Up North
But bright and clear
Sparkles for me
Wherever I will be

Up North-

A lonely Star

2007-10-08T09:29:00.001-07:00

Excuses

Excuse me Mam!
Excuse me for I did not mean to hurt you.
Excuse me Mam!
Excuse me, because I did what I did.

Why?
-Because.
Why?
-Don’t know.

Excuse me Sir!
-For what?
Excuse me Sir!
-Why?

Because
-For what?
Because I don’t understand.
-Why?

Understanding what you did..
-Yes?
..would mean I quit.
-What?

-Quit what?
Quit believing in reason.
-Why?
Because you don’t make any sense.

2007-10-06T03:46:00.000-07:00

Twilight
or
a Sweet Goodbye

I have written many pages of my book entitled “My Life”...have finished some chapters of the book and am about to start a new one...many things have happened, many things will happen and once more I was blessed with the proof of being a lucky kid from Andrômeda.

So many people have crossed my path,
So many things I have learned along the way,
So many emotions, so many goodbyes
So much love and recognition

Once more I have realized that i f one really wants something every possible power will help one for the realisation of the wished outcome.

Walking and living in the Twilight Zone of a Vagabond has its advantages- one walks and continues one’s path with no boundaries, with no tiés, with no rules- only the ones one sets oneself- and limits- there are nonE!

I have found a homebase, every traveler needs, a place one can call home- but though I have created many “homes” there is only one place where I wake up with a smile on my face every single day, there is only one place, where I walk along the streets and get lost-loving and knowing that am about to discover yet another marvelous sight.
There is only one place with the colours I love, one place that sings and dances for me every day, one place where I have friends on every córner- and one place that I can call my solemly home.
My best friend questioned me about the “whys” of that very feeling and the best way to explain to her the reasons of that feeling, was that-I couldn’t explain it-because it is a feeling of walking, living and breathing in a Twilight zone of adventures, smells and lyrics- a feeling of belonging to a culture that I have chosen to be mine..If this place had mountains I would call it heaven. Unfortunately, I have to travel to the mountains in order to feel the freedom of surfing them down in a rush...but nothing is perfect...only we can work on them every day to make them even a little better...
It is time to pack my bags- to chose warm cloth for the winter that I am about to experience...but I am excited to conquer yet new challenges, because I know I will return soon!

To all those friends I have made a big kiss goodbye!

Love a Vagabond

2007-09-29T17:27:00.000-07:00

Footprints

Footprints in the sand
A few down the beach
Suddenly they dissapear

Carried away?

A feather at the end
Gets caught by the
Wind.

The wind takes the
Feather, blows it around
The world, during a
Storm the feather starts
To burn.

Calm weather brings the
Feather back to life,
Where does it go?

One day the feather
Is a sign, a boy takes
The feather and góes
His way.

The boy leaves his
Footprints in the sand
And walks, away-
Suddenly they dissapear.

2007-09-29T17:13:00.000-07:00

For all us Busy People in the World

Around the córner I have a friend
In this great city that has no end.

Yet, the days go by and weeks rush on,
And before I know, a year is gone.

And I never see my old friend’s face,
For life is a swift and terrible race,

He knows I like him just as well,
As in the days when I rang his bell,
And he rang mine.

If, we were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men.
Tired of playing a foolish game,
Tired of trying to make a name.

“Tomorrow” I say, “ I will call on Tim”
“Just to show that I’m thinking of him.”
But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes.
And the distance between us grows and grows.

Around the córner! Yet-miles away,
“Here is a telegram Mam-“
“Tim died today.”
Around the corner,

.... a vanished friend.

2007-09-29T15:17:00.000-07:00

Tão Simples como isso:

" Posso ter defeitos, viver ansioso e ficar irritado algumas vezes, mas não esqueço de que a minha vida é a maior empresa do mundo. E que posso evitar que ela vá à falência. Ser feliz é reconhecer que vale a pena viver, apesar de todos os desafios, incompreenções e periodos de crise. Ser feliz é deixar de ser vítima dos problemas e de se tornar um autor da própria história. É atravessar desertos fora de si mas ser capaz de encontrar um oásis no recôndito da sua alma. É agardecer todas as manhas pelo milagre da vida. Ser feliz é não ter medo dos próprios sentimentos, é saber falar de si mesmo. É ter coregem para ouvir um 'não', é ter segurança para ouvir uma crítica, mesmo que injusta. Pedras no caminho? Guardo todas, um dia vou construir um castelo..."

Fernando Pessoa

2007-09-28T06:13:00.000-07:00

2007-09-13T04:42:00.000-07:00

Era uma vez...

Uma gaivota vinda de Andrômeda

À procura de algo incompreensível

Correndo atrás de possiveis respostas

Apanhando o vento forte do norte

Na selva da cidade

Encontrou uma raposa

Com respostas e uma satisfação

A gaivota aprendeu a andar

Gostando do seu novo ambiente

Adoptando a linguagem e os costumes

A selva da cidade transformou-se

No novo céu admirável

O desafio era grande

O gozo da vida também

Tornou-se numa dor

Originada entre

A oposição entre

O Amar

E

O bruto Querer

O desejo igual ao objectivo

A curiosidade é o motor

Cativo entre a simplicidade de viver

E o paradoxo da vida

O amor-paixão perdida

Na cristalização da claridade

Do ser

Que é a vida

2007-09-10T18:04:00.000-07:00

LONDON CHATS

-The ghost is sending her love to the insanity of your brain! May all the bullshit of these days fly away with the wind and is going gone gone with butterflies and bats...for ever and ever...se acridatares....sempre para sempre ate ao fim...love ya my big bad bat

"ok...hum...its gone but hang on it came back...its what happens when its all too much and all that you have around is really nothing,,have u heard of 7 batten street..its the next thriller for next summer...its kinda like "what you didnt DO this Summer!!!"haha
Nothing is making much sense now but thats becausse how my life is at he moment!!!so stop that now you know i told you it destroys all the little bugs inside u that need to work..oh well u know what i mean..!!!!!!"

-the light is always shining bright...your way
the light is always shining bright...wherever you are
you way...is bright & shiny
wherever you are the light will always shine
bright & light

"lets hope its a nightmare someone forgot to call it a dream..
lets hope that somenone will remeber to turn on the light and leave the window open..
to breath instead of holding on..
to make every tear a smile in return..
to make it all worthwhile!!"

2007-09-08T23:56:00.000-07:00

Under the bridge

sometimes we wake up
not knowing where we are

sometimes we wake up
not knowing where we were
the night before

sometimes we wake up
not knowing how we got there

sometimes we wake up
we know exactly where we are
where we were the night before
and how we got there

sometimes we wish we didnt have to
wake up
sometimes we wake up under a bridge

a bridge sometimes becomes a synonym
for a night that was lived to the fullest
where everything happened and even a little more
where exhaustion turned to exhaliation

sometimes-at some place-time stands still...

2007-09-02T15:00:00.001-07:00

Talvez um dia percebes a felicidade tu me deste de volta.
Talvez um dia percebes quem és.
talvez um dia encontrares aquela pessoa para ti.
Talvez um dia fazes uma viagem por volta do mundo.
Talvez um dia serás o rei de cinema.
talvez.
talvez.
Mas talvez vives o momento e talvez assim a felicidade nunca te deixar sozinho.
talvez.
Com certeza e nunca talvez eu quero estar lá quando os "talvezes" se realizam e te vejo com este sorriso divino que tu bem mereces.

2007-09-02T14:56:00.000-07:00

“Touched by an Angel”
by a Vagabond

Out of the dark there came an angel....

There, there was I, depressed, confused and tired of trying. The theatre play did not satisfy me, my love Miro was gone, and where was I?
Somewhere lost. I had given up differentiating between reality and fiction, my dreams were chasing their way- blending into reality-only to my eyes visible. I was living my nightmares, always ready for the worst, which transformed my life into an ‘egotistical-one-woman-show’…..I was feeling lonely and depressed, the world became an evil place for me.

One night, having a drink with some colleagues from the play, I was thinking: What for? Why? Can it really be that there is more negative energy than positive?
Walking to the bus station desperately wanting to get home I heard a little voice asking this awkward question into the darkening night:

“So, how many hours do you use your feet?”

What? What was that? Was there truly somebody asking me this question? Fifteen people were waiting at the station for the bus to come. The typical northern drizzle had started to wet the streets, when I turned around and saw this little, clumsy, Arabic Lady sitting on the bench with some plastic bags on the side of her. From her make-up and clothes I would say she was fairly rich, but then one look at her feet changed the whole picture- she wore these cheap sandals, which totally did not fit her outfit, her feet looked awful. I turned around and asked if she meant me.

“Sure I mean you! How many hours do you use your feet on a regular day?”

A little puzzled by what she actually wanted to know. I answered:

“Well, if I’m doing sports I may be using them four hours in a row.”

She smiled at me, in fact she always had a smile on her face, a really positive, obscure smile- gained by a lot of experience.
The mysterious Lady then said:

“Four hours…that is nothing. I use my feet at least ten hours without sitting down, because I have to run from here to there, to the washing center, to the fruit man, to the train station and so on and on…”

I shook my head, there was I feeling so miserable and sorry for myself, because of this freaking bad world, and a little, old Arabic grandmother was sitting at the bus station, where various people were hanging around and asked me these obscure questions.
The bus came and we both got inside, but sat down pretty far away from each other. Then “Hohelufbruecke”, my stop came, and I got off the bus. I walked down the road, passed MacDonald’s and when I looked back there was the little, old Lady again, so I decided to wait for her to give her some company. When she got to me she showed me her feet, which indeed looked really terrible with blisters all over. We talked about that she should put her feet in warm water in order to give them some rest. And again, she smiled at me and said:

“You know, I am very happy, because tomorrow I can sleep in. I can sleep until 9 o’clock.”

9 o’clock…went through my head that is not very long for me. Then she told me the street she had to go to and I wondered, knowing that in order to get to the neighbourhood she wanted to get to, she would have to cross the street. The street was in the exact opposite direction of where we were walking to. But no, she was still walking by my side telling me about her life back in Persia, where she never had to walk that much, she even had maids and did not have a clue how to raise the kids. She then started to work as a nurse, her feet, back then, were looking beautifully. There came my house and she wished me a very good night and on continuing walking in the wrong direction, carrying all her plastic bags, looking very awkwardly, her figure became a shadow and disappeared into the dark of the night.
I opened the door to my house and was walking up the stairs, still very confused about what just happened. I got into our apartment, went on the balcony, looked at the sky and talked to God:

“I know God, life is not at all so difficult, still you had to send this strange angel to me, to give me a sign of hope- thank you so much. I needed it.”

There was I, touched by an angel…..

2007-07-31T17:46:00.000-07:00

Carpe Diem

ou

A vida é uma Estupidez

Realmente temos só 3 anos da vida
O outro tempo está perdido
Nos nossos sonhos
No nosso trabalho
Nas nossas neccessidades

Então, é melhor viver
A nossa vida duma maneira
Que nos satisfaz
Que nos tornar
Ainda mais feliz
Mais experiente
Mais extreme
e
Mais concluido

carpe diem

2007-04-27T11:22:00.001-07:00

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
And the dreams that you dreamed of
Once in a lullaby ii ii iii
Somewhere over the rainbow
Blue birds fly
And the dreams that you dreamed of
Dreams really do come true ooh ooooh
Someday I'll wish upon a star
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me ee ee eeh
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney tops thats where you'll find me oh
Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly
And the dream that you dare to,why, oh why can't I? i iiii

Someday I'll wish upon a star,
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney top that's where you'll find me
Oh, Somewhere over the rainbow way up high
And the dream that you dare to, why, oh why can't I? I hiii ?

2007-04-27T11:09:00.000-07:00

Xaninha's Birthday

2007-04-27T11:08:00.000-07:00

H&H in da' House

2007-04-27T11:07:00.000-07:00

Distant places

Dreaming of distant places
Dweling on days to come
Coming and going
But: Where am I from?

My curiosity hungers
For an adventure
That I have yet to dream-
Create

When will it begin?
When will I admit
What I am
Where I am from

A distant land is
My home
A distant land is
gone

Have I lost
A place where
I belong?
Inside myself?

2007-04-24T04:07:00.000-07:00

Home Sweet Home

A Bright Sunny Night

2007-04-23T07:28:00.000-07:00

L'Amour & Memories

2007-04-23T07:25:00.000-07:00

Europe in 9 days. Quite a challenge! From Amsterdam-Brussels-Paris-London.....veni vedi vici

2007-04-17T03:27:00.000-07:00

2007-04-17T03:21:00.000-07:00

Beautiful

Beuatiful Minds
Beautiful People
Beautiful Lives

Mind beautiful people's lives
Live beautiful people's minds

2007-04-03T02:10:00.000-07:00

-On Tour-

We welcome
we walk
we talk
we see
whatever it will be

with a wow
and a
glow

that show of
sights
that never ends

until it blends
into our memory

2006-10-21T07:43:00.000-07:00

The old Smoke at Night!

To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action. - Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remember'd.

2006-10-21T07:38:00.000-07:00

time will tell

2006-10-07T13:47:00.000-07:00

Magic or In Search For Colour

there was I , sipping a lovely "Lost Passion" cocktail, in a Portuguese Bar in Chelsea, talking to Mexican Barkeepers about the Mexican actor Diego Luna who I just felt was in London.
Well, I assumed since the film festival was about to start that he and his buddy would not miss the chance. It turns out that not only the film festival was beginning shortly but also that the British Film Institute (bfi) was doing a special on Mexican Cinema. Perfect!
After my search for colour I figured it would't hurt just to quickly stop by the Bfi and check if I could get some tickets for the mexican film festival. I signed up and got about 7 tickets to see various screenings. But the one I really wanted, the Interview about Mexican Cinema with Gael Garçia and Diego was already sold out.
So I got a caramel café sat down in the cafeteria and was looking at the film festival program. While I was sitting down my eye caught this very excited, blond English girl standing in front of a guy sitting on the table next to me. She leaves with a happy smile and I look over my left shoulder. Diego! With an interesting looking girl and another Mexican friend.
While I was trying hard trying to read the film festival program, I could't help but to ear drop into their conversation.....it was a conversation in English with both of them him & her speaking with a thick accent. It was a dull, day-to-day conversation about relationships and "so what are you up to tonight".
The magic was gone.
I thought for a moment I should go and talk to them, but then I wasn't 100% sure it was him- and it would have been really embarassing if it turns out he was just a passionate mexican guy who likes movies- so I didn't.
Strange things happen on a so normal seeming Saturday.
I still have a week of mexican cinema to go and who knows I might bump into him again and this time might say something. It would be helpful since I am writing a piece on Mexican Cinema. But hey who knows....
I just have to make sure he doesn't assume I am another fan who wants to flirt. I actually would like to ask him some questions and know his opinion on a couple of things.
Well we will see : TIME WILL TELL

2006-09-28T16:05:00.000-07:00

One of those days when everything seems so little so unimportant and so far
away.
One of those days when your soul searches for that little sparkle of
inspiration.
One of those days when your body is longing for love and your mind is too
busy trying to find explanations to 2001 misteries.
One of those days when I wished I could be a bird and fly anywhere I want
and while flying let droppings fall on the people`s heads I don't like.
One of those days when I feel like dancing and singing and surfing.

One of those many days that come and go and we embrace with happiness,
because the day dances for us and causes all those little tingles.....

2006-09-25T14:45:00.000-07:00

Much ado about nothing

2006-09-25T14:21:00.000-07:00

Lights of London

-massses of masses travelling the same way, rushing from here to there to everywhere- the endless beings in search for the endless satisfaction.-

Will this ever end?

After travelling 3 hours in the bus, because carneval in London held us up, carneval in London what a scene....the banks of the river thames were filled with people in the most colourful costumes. The bus driver then had the fabulous idea of kicking us all off the bus after being delayed. So all the people in the bus got off, because he had to be on the other side of the street already. Two hours passed, three hours passed and I had made friends with a Columbian lady in the bus who was going to tell me when to get off- West Norwood was my final destiny that night. And West Norwood it was.

My friend picked me up and finally I arrived at a warm place. I had already spent two nights at a Bed & Breakfast near Russel Square in a place called St. Athans- simple & good. We arrived and they made me pasta. Then we talked and caught up. The conversation took a funny turn though- suddenly we talked about sex, relations and the development relationships might take and I heared a facinating theory about free love.

Free love – meaning a guy who says that when he hás a girlfriend he tells her not to worry when she wants to have sex with somebody else that is totally ok, but just sex if she starts to feel something she needs to tell him. His theory is that relationships were there is a 100 % dedication and no betrayel is wrong because it goes against our instincts and because sooner or later most relationships end. Of course he said that exceptions define the rule.
But society is driven to a more and more independant, individual way. Away from the family bounds, the village closure and towards a global city community were there are a milion of people to chose from.
A fact is that many people are desperate in finding a partner to spent there time with. The right woman or man for ever and ever- everybodies biggest hope.
But wouldn’t we be happier if we chose people for the moment? They say live life to the fullest as if every moment was your last. Why then not being with many people and sharing many moments? His therory to some extent makes sense- a truly loving relationship- the “True Love” might turn into an Elite of couples who have found the right partner and managed to love each other unconditionally.
It has to be unconditionally, becuase what I see in most of the couples these days is that love has long gone and they are together because of pure comfort and routine. That is the danger in every relationship.

London, 20th September 2006

2006-09-06T08:49:00.000-07:00

Manchmal muss man erst weggehen
Um zu erkennen was man eigentlich hatte.

Manchmal passt man sich an
ohne es zu
merken.

Manchmal merkt man nicht
wie man zu Stein
wird.

Manchmal schreit man nach
Hilfe, doch keiner hört
ein.

Manchmal wird man erhört
sogar auf der anderen Seite
der Welt.

Manchmal ist Liebe so gross
dass sie weh
tut.

Und manchmal ist sie das
schönste Geschenk
im Leben.